If My Pets Could Talk…

Cub and meat II

I always imagine my cats would have little kid voices and be singularly driven to repeat themselves in excitement. What would they say?

Owein would likely jump up on Scott and say something like “I’m going to lay on your hands and you will like it. It’ll likely be for the rest of the day, so deal with it. Petting begins now.” and it would likely be in a James Earl Jones-on-Helium voice.

Griffin’s personality is more of a kid after gobbling down a giant bowl of candy. He’d ramble on about how much he likes helping daddy put on his shoes in the morning, about how much he wishes the people in the corners of the house would stop mocking him. He’d likely touch on his fondness for acrylic blankets and stuffed animals and under his high chittering voice he’d admit that his addiction makes his tummy hurt but not enough to stop. Then he’d tell you about how wonderful it is when daddy sits in his chair and reclines and how perfect a warm lap feels.

Then the both of them would move on to dinner time. They’d both complain that daddy only feeds them when an odd little box that daddy has makes a screeching noise and that they are so very hungry and impatient to hear the phrase that sends them into fits of impatient begging. It would be Griffin who would say it, impulsively, “Who’s Hungry? Oh daddy! We are!” while Owein would just give him an impatient glare and a flap of the tail. Then they’d both describe in detail about how they are saying “Now! Now! Now!” but it comes out “Merow! Merow! Merow!”. Owein would then comment about how overrated breathing is when you are trying to eat as fast as felinely possible.

Then after that they’d demand that both daddies sit on the couch and provide ample lap-room for an after-meal konk-out. They would both, under their high voices, admit to really enjoying putting both daddies to sleep, and probably would comment on how easy it is especially if the giant lightbox was making noise and flickering.

That’s what my pets would say. I’m sure of it. 🙂

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