PAD 2/3/13 – Writing Room

“A genie has granted your wish to build your perfect space for reading and writing. What’s it like?”

I’ve got the room, which is the library in the house I currently own. Right now this room is a makeshift guest bedroom with a library that has accumulated along the walls. There is a great design for a modular stackable bookshelf that really intrigues me and I imagine the library would feature this along the walls, improving on the current cheap particle-board bookcases that we currently use. I would also build these into the built-in closet in this room and take the doors off of it. In the center I would place an overstuffed leather chair with an ottoman for the legrests and behind it a floor lamp with multiple lights attached to a central body, much like this lamp. If the room was just a little bit larger I would also like a old-fashioned secretary desk to do writing and composition. I’ve written before about my affection for mixing up the traditional and the technological.

Truth to be told, if I got my hands on a Genie I’d likely not ask for these things, but instead relief from debt.

PAD 1/29/2013 – Looking Outside

“Go to the nearest window. Look out for a full minute. Write about what you saw.”

I can just turn and look out my office window and the world out there looks like a freshly shaken snow globe. Everything is covered in snow and the wind is carrying snowflakes in a slow gamboling gyre. The tree just beyond my window has lost all of it’s leaves except for one dead branch that apparently can’t lose it’s leaves – perhaps they are permanently attached and just won’t fall off. Beyond that there is the start of the vine neighborhood ghetto that lines up against Austin Street. This particular street is comically steep and usually very slippery. Nobody parks out there during the winter because usually as cars try to climb the grade they tend to slide left and right bouncing into other cars and leaving some pretty breathtaking property damage. The ground is speckled with footprints of various creatures. Humans, deer, rabbits, and squirrels. The trees are loaded with snow and the pines across the way look to be strained with their ponderous load of white snow.

This is only the beginning as tonight the lake effect snow bands will shift towards us again and much of this will be covered over by the blizzard of snow to come. Visibility will be lost and all of the colors and the road and the tracks will be obliterated by the thick blanket of snow.

Cold

PAD 1/12/2013 – Inside vs. Outside

“Run outside. Take a picture of the first thing you see. Run inside. Take a picture of the second thing you see. Write about the connection between these two random objects, people, or scenes.”

2013-01-30 10.02.022013-01-30 10.02.26

These two images are from my workaday world. On the left is the view out of my office window, as the weather is quite awful outside I chose not to just dash outside. The picture on the right is inside my office and features one of my favorite things on my desk, my very evocative Edison bulb desk lamp. It’s cold outside, the weather is just beginning to demonstrate how surprisingly variable it can be, thanks in no small part to climate change. It’s not that the world will actually warm up, although it very well might just do that very thing, I rather suspect we’ll see more variability in the weather patterns instead.

Cold and Hot, as well, perhaps even impersonal and inviting. Once you start spotting dualities they can sometimes just carry you off. It’s not that there are just a finite set of dualities either, and I’m sure including more pictures would just add to this particular sense of contrast that we see here. I don’t really find the outside to be that compelling except during the spring, or I should say the true spring and not the false springs that appear now midway through winter on accident. There is more stability and comfort in the Edison bulb. This simple and anachronistic bit of technology emits a very warm yellow glow that in the early mornings and late evenings gives my office a very subtle old-world atmosphere. I’ve written before about my affections for both the bleeding edge of technology and the anachronistic throwback technology of the deep past living contemporaneously together and I will always posit that the very old and the very new belong together and that there is wisdom in keeping things that are throwbacks around because you never know when something that has been well-tested may become all important when conditions change and the newest technology cannot cope with changing environments. The classic example i use is how an electromagnetic pulse could render all my bleeding edge technology useless but my Edison bulb and my mechanical hand-wound pocket watch will continue on. This mixing of the newest and oldest makes a lot of sense and speaks to infinite diversity in infinite combinations, something that everyone should take away from Star Trek if you are as earnest about that series as I am. That respecting diversity, even when it comes to levels of technology are vital for survival because you may not have the neat whiz-bang working all the time while the older bits of tech continue to chug along. I keep a fountain pen in my bag because I trust the classics more, as there are no moving parts to a fountain pen other than it’s ink. Older items, or items that harken back to the bygone days are also important to remind you that the world still has room for elegance and simplicity and that complexity, while dazzling isn’t the pinnacle of living.

This connection between the new and the old also is playing out in another part of my life, as I am using something very new, my Day One app,  to do something that at least speaks to the past, which is journaling. I write everything in the journal and then selectively share either on my blog or on social media, depending on the level of security and privacy that my writings require. I’ve discovered that over the past few years I’ve accidentally logged every day of my life in Twitter, at 140 characters at a time and including these bits in my Day One journal is cementing my past so that years from now I won’t have to ever wonder about what I’ve experienced and when it happened, there will be a log of it. I’ve found journaling to be a very mixed bag of motives, right now I feel like a digital squirrel bounding all over collecting and burying bits of my past in a safe place – but eventually I will browse this resource and think about what has happened to me and perhaps I’ll learn more about myself or at least remember more of what it was like to be me during that time in my life. On an expanded tangent I sometimes wish I could include journaled stories from my parents and their generation. The things they experienced and the feelings they felt, shared with the younger ones amongst us. I’m very enamored of the idea of learning this way, not from prepared texts that have been curated and vetted, but from personal experience with all its rich colors and opportunities for interpretation and even its foibles and pitfalls. Much of this resembles the StoryCorps project, where the stories of the past are recorded. This is a wonderful place to start browsing, if you are engaged with this idea, and I think the power of journaling speaks to this and maybe someday I’ll get enough bravery to publish all that I have written, maybe some of it will be useful to someone else in the future.

PAD 1/25/2013 – Write Your Own Eulogy

The height of immodest self-flogging comes with todays rather morbid and silly prompt:

“Write your own eulogy.”

No. I won’t. My life hasn’t been written yet and even if it has, can you sum up something as incredible as a human life in words? So instead of it being long and flowery and really just so much verbal masturbation I will write this:

He was born, during his life he laughed and others laughed. He died. The End.

So you know, take your eulogy and masturbation and sit in the corner where you belong.

PAD 1/11/2013 – Book of Life

The book

“If you could read a book containing all that has happened and will ever happen in your life, would you? If you choose to read it, you must read it cover to cover.”

The answer for me is quite simple. I would leave that particular book on the shelf and I would leave it be for years and years while I lived, moved, loved, got sick, got well, and enjoyed a nice long life. Then when I am very old and very tired I will sit back with an obnoxiously expensive drink, put on some Mozart, sit back, pull it off the shelf and make it a page-a-day until I got to the end. Then I would put the book back and enjoy a life well-lived and the serenity that comes with robbing death of his surprise ending.

 

PAD 1/10/2013 – Flavors of Context

“Vanilla, chocolate, or something else entirely?”

Context is full of hidden landmines. This prompt could be for anything ranging from ice cream to sex. The entertainment value alone for a discussion on my sex life won’t be happening on this blog, so you can safe yourself the clutched pearls and faux shock. The only other option is a culinary question about ice cream preferences. I wouldn’t dare let even that subject be plain as that. I prefer to make my own ice cream, and when I do that I prefer to make it with dark chocolate, lots of vanilla for body, and crushed up Altoid mints for the flavor spike of mint that I really love when making my own ice creams. I am quite surprised that more ice cream manufacturers haven’t attempted to crush and incorporate Altoid mint flavors into their ice creams, but as it may be, I sometimes peek around corners and do things unexpected.

When it comes to commercial ice creams, I have to admit to a preference for Strawberry. About a year ago my partner, Scott introduced me to his favorite ice cream flavor that one of our local fast-food joints makes. Culvers sometimes makes what’s called Butter Brickle and I have to admit that it’s sometimes edging out my preferences for Strawberry.

As funny as innuendo goes, and as far as it’s applicable, what started out as a clear discussion of a topic not related to sex will almost always find it’s way right back into that sense wether you like it or not.

The best video I saw in reference to hilarious innuendo is the Star Trek Sexed Generation YouTube video. Here it is:

PAD 1/9/2013 – Fear

“You’re locked in a room with your greatest fear. Describe what’s in the room.”

Golly, this is an easy one. It’s actually a feature in some of my more deeper and more meaningful dreams. I’ve blogged before about a regular setting that usually happens in my dreaming life – the big house. Sometimes it changes shape and place, but I know it’s the same structure. Almost always in these dreams I end up at the end boarding an elevator. What starts out as a normal elevator ride becomes way more nightmarish when the walls fall away and it’s just me standing on a rising metal platform with a broken knife-switch control. Either the elevator rises or I pull the knife-switch and it falls.

No real big surprise that my biggest phobia is that of heights. So, the room itself is sort of the fear, at least until when it rises and then the walls fall away.

PAD 1/8/2013 – Teachers

“Tell us about a teacher who had a real impact on your life, either for the better or the worse. How is your life different today because of him or her?”

Mrs. Fitch. She taught high school chemistry at one of the high schools l attended. In fact I took New York Regents Chemistry class from her and I remember her fondly to this very day. She treated the kids with a no-nonsense style that I appreciated. She wasn’t alone, as she was the middle between biology and physics teachers who were also very memorable. The most entertaining thing I remember was when she used denatured alcohol to surprise a sleepy student. We all watched as she snuck up to him, prepared the surprise and then set it off. He never fell asleep again, at least during her class. As for what I learned? The material from the chemistry class is pretty much gone. If you don’t use a tool eventually it rusts, and for me, what I learned in high school, for the most part, has rusted away. I do remember some lessons, especially on significant figures when doing calculations and all the many botched experiments. Funny what stands out in your memory, but I distinctly remember hearing a story about how one student who I knew was tearing down an experiment and didn’t consider that a metal stand holding a bunsen burner rig may have had some residual heat stored in it’s stand-ring. I wasn’t there to witness it, but I heard that she grabbed the ring thoughtlessly and the metal wasn’t cool to the touch.

As it is, the town that high school served was wiped off the face of the map by a once-in-a-lifetime flood of the Susquehanna River. I don’t know if it still stands or if Mrs. Fitch is still alive. It’s been many years. If so, or if not, I’ll always have those memories and smile when I remember them.

PAD 1/7/2013 – Helplessness

“Helplessness: that dull, sick feeling of not being the one at the reins. When did you last feel like that –- and what did you do about it?”

I rarely have this feeling. Almost always I can either acquire control or I can find some way to escape the situation. There is one time, not really a matter of helplessness, but one of catastrophic failure that recently happened to me that I can write about. Several months ago I had a server, a Dell uber-tower that was 9 years old and suffered a total systems failure while I was actively trying to backup files on that server because I just didn’t trust the tape system to work properly. Turns out I was just a little bit psychic I guess, because half-way through my attempt to backup the machine, there was a catastrophic fault on the servers motherboard which pretty much hosed the entire machine.

I needed to get the data off the tapes and get a new server set up as quickly as I could. The realization of the failure hit me right in my gut. It’s where cancers always feel stress, like a knot in your stomach. Not nausea, but it felt just like I had been punched right in my gut and was short on air.  I arranged to get a new server up and running and got the system back on its feet but needed some of those files on the tapes in order to rescue everything. I called all around and nobody had that old technology still, so I had no choice but to resort to data rescue services. They got the tapes, and after a protracted back and forth regarding them I received the files that were written to the tapes on several DVD’s. Turns out that Backup Exec lied about making successful backups all along and that all my tapes had filenames and directory structures, but no actual data to any of the files. They were all zero kb. In many regards I had spent a lot of money for DVD’s with just the headstones of the files I needed, and no bodies.

Thankfully I had mirrored the system to another server a few months back and I was able to rescue a majority of the data that I really needed and only lost about two months of my coworkers work. It was bad, but it wasn’t heart-attack bad.

Since then, I resolved that I would never again trust any data to tapes, and thankfully when that server died it took the last tape drive with it, so there are no more tape drives in use in my office. Tapes are very 20th century things and there are better ways to store and backup data now.

I will never forget that feeling of being punched in the gut. Thankfully now the relevant systems are under contracts and warranties and letters of agreement and whatever else we could find to properly cover-my-ass and ensure that this would never again happen to me. It might happen to someone else here, but it won’t be my fault, ever again.

 

PAD 1/6/2013 – Separation

“What’s the most time you’ve ever spent apart from your favorite person? Tell us about it.”

When it comes to favorite people I count my immediate family and my partner in that group and it’s a very small group. Generally speaking when I’m away from one of them I’m almost always with others, unless I’m on a work trip. For the work trips they never last longer than five days or so. Missing people and pets used to be a bothersome emotion but since Apple introduced FaceTime for their mobile devices even long distances and not seeing loved ones for a length of time isn’t as bad as it used to be. One thing I will say is that very few people ever opt for FaceTime in general. I don’t know exactly why, perhaps it’s too much for people in general or it’s use case is far too specific and it isn’t used because there are quicker ways to communicate. If I had people who wanted to use FaceTime I suppose it would be used more on all my mobile devices.