*Tell us how your week went by putting together a playlist of five songs that represent it.*

Thanks to Last.fm, this is going to be a cakewalk. Sometimes I think that my workplace is ruled over by “Lux Aeterna” from Requiem for a Dream. That was definitely a good theme for last week. After that, “Eye In The Sky” by the Alan Parsons Project. Next, “Lets Have A Kiki” by the Scissor Sisters and then rounded out by Billy Joel’s “Allentown” and Gershwin’s “Rhapsody In Blue”.

While I’ve been on my blogging bender this weekend I’ve been writing on my iPad and it’s been playing Spotify’s Classical Radio station. I find writing to classical to be the best experience when I am writing. Plus the iPad (with Drafts!) makes the entire experience all that easier since it’s so light and portable and the bluetooth connected keyboard helps me bridge that gap. I can set up my iPad and type along, listening to music all from one device. No laptop to haul around, just a slim neat iPad with nearly all the tools I need to write. The only thing that the iPad lacks and this is something that irks me, is an “After The Deadline” spell and grammar checking app. I looked and couldn’t find anything so I just spend that much more time in WordPress because they’ve got a working implementation of After The Deadline in the WordPress editor online. It’s not elegant, not by a longshot, but there it is.

*Who’s the most important person in your life — and how would your day-to-day existence be different without them?*

Scott is the most important person in my life. Being my life partner means exactly that. Life. Partner. Best lived together. Where would I be without him? I can’t say. I definitely would be lonelier and sadder and probably less passionate about things in general without him. I look across the way at our two valentines day cards standing on the coffee table in the living room and seeing them together in a way is how I see us together. We belong together, we’re in love, what’s more to say?

When was the first time you really felt like a grown up (if ever)?

For me there is a split in the definition of what it is to be a “grown up”. There are actually two tracks. The first one, where you do “grown up things” happened for me when I learned to drive a car. That was the first time.

What’s more interesting to me is the other definition of being a “grown up” which is to say, acting like what I thought was a “grown up” when I was a kid. Getting older I have revised this viewpoint quite a number of times. Working with people who pose as “grown ups” has shown me the truth of the matter, that nobody really does grow up. We change attire, yes, but we never really stop living in our past and conducting ourselves in that way. It’s in the examples that people provide that I find the most telling. Shirking responsibilities, being fair-weather friends, lying poorly for stupid reasons and generally just being a dick to other people because why should you change, why should you be better than that? Indeed. So, I posit that there are few “grown ups” in the world and that we’re all very much the same petulant temper-tantrum throwing children we were years and years ago. Getting older doesn’t mean we “grow up”, at least not necessarily.

I suppose after thinking about it, there is a third part to being “grown up” and that is the dying a little bit and slowly turning into an autumn person. Letting banality, habit, and incuriosity drain the bright cleverness out of you. Giving up. Mostly in terms of idealism, hopes, dreams, and wishes – watching them all dry up, curl into a ball and roll away in the hot dry wind of getting older. I hope I never get to this point. I have often times said to the people who care for me that there are conditions in which if I find myself in them, I must be put down. This is really the apex of that conditional command. I can’t imagine living a life where there is nothing new. Nothing to dream about. Nothing to hope for. Letting life just wander away. To me, that’s worse than death. It’s death while you are still alive. It should fill everyone with dread, however I see people who are riddled with this awfulness every day.

So, one of the three definitions of being a ‘grown up’? I suppose I am not one. I do not wish to be one, at least not like that. I will always be curious. I will always be idealistic. I will always embrace foolishness for that is life.

“Explore the room you’re in as if you’re seeing it for the first time. Pretend you know nothing. What do you see? Who is the person who lives there?”

I see a room designed to sit and read, nap, or idly daydream out of the giant picture window across the room. There is a lot of glasswork, art, and the tables are cluttered with knick-knacks that certainly mean something to the people who placed them there. There are some cards on the nearby coffee table, they are Valentines Day Cards, the people who live here are obviously in love with each other. There are two large delft-style floor pillows arrayed on the floor sprinkled with cat hair, so two very spoiled felines must live here.

Thank god we cleaned this room. 🙂

Write about the last disagreement you had with a friend or family member — from their perspective. 

The last real disagreement I had was with someone I’ve wanted to not have these disagreements with but find myself utterly incapable of avoiding. In their perspective I am just too young and too idealistic, too liberal, too bleeding heart for my own good and if I would just listen I would see how rational and logical the other side is and agree.

But I just can’t. Instead of perpetuating the discord I told him that I was willing to talk about any subject but that one. That I am done. In fact, I’m tired of politics in general. Talking to anyone else about politics is an exercise in monologue delivery. Nobody is listening, nobody wants to listen. So firmly entrenched and really, when it comes down to it, who am I to suggest it be any other way? Life is comfortable in the way that it has come to be. Railing against a comfortable life is disrespectful and fruitless.

As I’ve gotten older I’ve learned that arguments are stupid. If there is a disagreement, it’s best to cease discussions and avoid the subject in the future. When it comes up, change subjects. If it’s unavoidable, fake either a medical emergency or configure your phone to go off and fake another kind of emergency. People are far too interested in trolling and getting a rise out of others for their jollies than taking anyone else seriously. Avoid politics, religion, and the climate. Everything else doesn’t matter and doesn’t end up as fodder for arguments. There are some questions posed to anyone that are ticking time bombs. Things like “What do you think of Abortion?” Those kinds of questions, if they ever come up should be a clear signal to anyone who wishes to save their own hide to flee as fast and as far away from that particular ground zero as you can possibly get. If you have to throw yourself out the window, then by all means, prepare for a drop.

Another thing that I’ve learned is that even if you can’t escape, even if you can’t fake a seizure or a stroke, if your phone can’t get you out of the briar-patch that you’ve found yourself stuck in, there is always glorious liquor. Find something around 80 proof and let it carry you away. Nothing beats alcoholism when you are trapped with no way to escape. They may have your body, but they won’t ever have your alcohol-addled mind.