Tag Archives: Natural Disaster

Needlessly Complicating Everything

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Today has been a comedy of complications. First it turns out that retail doesn’t give a damn about whether or not the roads are passable. We just endured the Snowpocalypse 2011, and while the sky did fall, it wasn’t as dire or dangerous as people had feared it might be. Overnight we accumulated probably 12-15 inches of snow and they all built up around my car and down my driveway. After I had some breakfast and relaxed a little, as Western had closed for business on Wednesday, I decided to try to get the garbage out to the street side for pickup. I got all dressed up, found some winter boots in the closet that I didn’t know we had, and opened the garage up. I got my shovel and started to heave-ho the snow out of my way. I got halfway down the driveway and one of my neighbors with a snowblower came up and asked if I wanted him to help me clear my driveway for ten bucks. I agreed and he went to get his pint-sized snowblower. He made quick work of the plow-drift that had built up at my driveways entrance and as he was snowplowing I was clearing off about a yard of snow with each push-and-shovel throw. He helped clear my driveway in about 5 minutes, dug out a notch in the snowbank roadside for my garbage trundle and even plowed clean a path for the mailman to get to my front door. All in all worth the ten bucks I think, he didn’t have to help me, I would have struggled through it, but it would have taken me much longer. I think it was an even deal.

But of course I don’t carry cash on me. So he was willing to wait for the money. This is the start of the complications. I needed to get $10 from the bank. This should be easy. It was not.

My first step was, after comics lunch with Scott I dropped him off at work and went to the PNC Branch at the corner of Westnedge and Romence roads. It’s a rather big branch and it was 2pm on a Wednesday, I didn’t think there would be any problems. Well, the bank was closed. The blizzard did that right quick. So no human beings at the bank, so I thought maybe I could pull the money out of the ATM, but I knew that the PNC ATM’s were only handing out $20’s. I thought I could cheat by going to Meijers and buying something cheap and then using my debit card, pull an extra $10 out, giving me what I’d need to pay off my neighbor. I got to Meijers and thought about what I needed or wanted. I couldn’t think of anything off the top of my head so I picked up a six-pack of Labatts for $5 and headed to the help-yourself checkout lane. After proving my age, I ran my debit card and tacked on another $10 to the deal. The Meijers system puked out the transaction and apparently there is a bank/computer glitch that renders all PNC Debit Card transactions invalid. So there I was in the help-yourself lane, with beer that was already ordered and I already verified my age so I bought it anyways using my budget-money, for which I certainly have enough to cover a $5 six-pack of beer. So now I had beer, but still no $10. Frustrated I left Meijers and I was driving home the safe way, which is down Kilgore Ave to Sprinkle and take that home, it has only very gentle grades, and it isn’t Westnedge Hill after a blizzard. On my way home I remembered that all the Speedway gas stations in Michigan are now outfitted with PNC ATM’s. So here I was, all the way full circle. I got to the Speedway, I withdrew $20, I went to the cashier and bought two $10’s with the $20, which elicited a grumpy comment from the gas station attendant – oh whatever – and got back in my car. Then I drove to the PNC Bank on Gull Road (closed as well, what a shocker!) and deposited back the extra $10, leaving me with a six-pack of beer and $10. I took Gull down to Texel, and counted off the addresses. Then I discovered to my chagrin that Texel is even-numbered halfway along and then it switches at the bend. *twitch* I finally got to my helpful neighbors house and knocked on the door. His wife opened the door, I handed her my $10 and thanked them for their kindness.

Now I’m home, I’ve taken care of what I had to and only had to go through this craziness because the banks were closed and ATM’s only spit out $20’s. At least I don’t owe my neighbor anything and that isn’t a cloud over my head.

Chainfire

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It all started with a comic exchange about the fetish that some southerners have to mowing their lawn. That they do so in conditions that make sitting on a rain-soaked lump of steel during an electrical storm appear to be exclamations to evolution to come and weed them out of the gene pool. It struck me that these people could be riding along, get hit by lightning and then the tractor they are sitting on could explode and shoot a gout of flaming gasoline onto their house setting that on fire.

That started the idea that I’ve had for a long time. That there exists situations where the worst possible thing could actually ignite a chain of comically bad consequences. One of my favorites starts with a teeny Earthquake and then proceeds to lead to one path for the Apocalypse. It all starts with a 9.5 Earthquake under New Madrid, Missouri. That of course annihilates New Madrid (see ya) and the energy released causes the San Andreas to finally let go, which would of course need to be more than a 10 on the Richter scale. That pushes the western ridge of California into the Pacific, and pretty much all of California is annihilated (oops, bye bye) and of course the lateral shift would push a huge mass of water out and that would initiate a real Tsunami, so Midway and Hawaii would see maybe a little rise in water level, but Japan… oh… bye bye. The energy released for both faults going off so close together causes Mt. Hood to erupt (bye Oregon) and the differential in magma + the earth ringing like a bell from both events sets off the Yellowstone supervolcano. It’s 600,000 year store of pressure is released, perhaps 15 on the Richter scale opens up something fantastic right under Yellowstone. So immediately we’ve lost California, Missouri, Oregon, Montana, Wyoming, and Idaho. Hawaii might be under seawater, and Japan would definitely also be lost. The supervolcano rages for maybe a month, shooting millions of tons of ash and pyroclastic material high into the atmosphere. The Jet Stream takes all this fine particulate material and pushes it all the way out to Newfoundland. The dimming of sunlight causes an epic crop failure, the pyroclastic grit causes all dwellings in the precipitation path to collapse from the weight and then as people drive around with the grit in the air they destroy all the mechanical modes of conveyance through abrasion and failure leaving us in scattered communities only bridged by people willing to walk outside. Without a rebreather-kit the grit would likely lead to widespread development of Mesothelioma in anything that breathed the air. The United States practically starves to death, the US Economy collapses, which then sets off China as their currency collapses (debt based on the full faith of  a place that no longer exists, really) and that would affect every other world economy, leading to an extinction-level event. Practically the only really safe people would be aboard the ISS. As of today, that would be six people left.

Dear Dr. Hawking, it’s a damn shame nobody is listening to you. I hope the people up in the ISS have a woman and a way back down, up there. 🙂

Health Care Reform

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Today, near the end of my workday I ran into a Healthcare Reform troll on Twitter. He replied to one of my twitter posts and it wasn’t conciliatory or an invitation to a fair and balanced argument. It did however get me thinking about healthcare reform.

As far as I can see, the idea of healthcare reform has been beaten around the bush so many times as to be a bill-in-name-only, most of the really profound reforms were jettisoned in committee. True, there are some reforms present but whenever the meat of the matter comes up it instantly polarizes everyone who comes into contact with it. The meat that I consider to be a central pillar of true healthcare reform is the establishment of a National Health Service, NHS, which is universal socialized government-run taxpayer-funded health insurance for every citizen of the United States of America. I am a huge proponent of NHS, and while it would be expensive to run in the short-term, there are things that can be done to help control the costs and get it started. Of course, it wouldn’t be an idea of mine unless it was draconian, sweeping, and world-altering. One thing I’ve noticed about all the arguments is that they lack a plan, actual concrete suggestions that could easily be turned into law. I’ve got some ideas, not a complete package, but some things that could help.

First, the government nationalizes and socializes all the current health insurance companies. If you have any clients in the USA, your ass is grass and we own it – consumption by fiat, call it whatever you like – the will of the people, a socialist revolution, or even eminent domain. We establish in it’s place the NHS, we insure every man woman and child, your health card is your Social Security Insurance Card – a nine digit number that is your password to access NHS. If you are a citizen of the United States, you will be covered. The shareholders in big health insurance companies will be told that their sacrifice for the good of us all is greatly appreciated and we can engrave their names on the bricks that make up the home office of the NHS.

You can’t just expect lazy greedy Americans to take charge of their health on their own, they need an enticement. I suggest a $2000 income tax credit that anyone who is working can claim on their 1040A form. This credit is a sliding scale, from zero to $2000. Your credit is calculated based on your proximity to your ideal height and weight ratio. If you are 6’3” and male, your ideal weight is 200 pounds. If you are that tall and weigh that much, and have a doctor or nurse notarize the fact, you can claim your credit. Keeping your weight under control prevents heart disease, obesity, and a host of other long-term illnesses. If you can’t reach that full credit, you can get a $400 tax credit if you are in good standing at any kind of exercise venue, whether at work or in private. If you can prove that you are exercising, you’ll get a small credit.

Once everyone can take part in the NHS, anyone who abuses emergency rooms or claims that it is prohibitively expensive to be screened for any health-related issues simply loses their basis of complaint. Because everyone will have insurance there will be no risk to citizens going bankrupt, losing their homes, their jobs, or their credit. For everyone there will be coverage, irrespective of their current health conditions and while it may be rather expensive at first, once people who would have otherwise been unable to have basic medical services rendered now will know if they have to quit smoking or lose weight or stop drinking. If you make a small change in the beginning, it leads to massive changes later on.

What would we do if we did not enact these sweeping reforms that lead to an NHS? We’ll have a further spreading of class distinctions in our country, the high class never even pays any thought to health care, the middle class will continue to eke out whatever they can get from their employers or spouses, and the poor and homeless and otherwise disabled citizens will be left at the mercy of our current social medical programs which demand that you live an impoverished life in order to qualify for public assistance. The rich will pay no attention to anything, the middle class will care and fret, but will do nothing because they are afraid of losing what little they already have and the poor, they’ll continue to do as they do now, flood into free clinics and hit the ER when something bad happens.

It’s my fervent belief that some things are best done socially. The cost of keeping ourselves healthy is immense and cannot be shouldered by just a select few, say, the middle class, but it should be shouldered by everyone. A huge expense can be rendered manageable if you have enough people sharing the burden. In order for any one  of us to not fall through the cracks, we must all agree to work together. If we work together in this fashion, we can rest easy knowing that children will get whatever immunizations they need, that they’ll always be able to see a general practitioner, and that with a relief of stress from the bleakness and fear of falling through the cracks, a newly developing seed of hope can be planted.

This is not only good for The People, it’s good for Corporate America as well. Large companies, like General Motors can simply purge their need for private health insurance since NHS sweeps in and gathers every employee. Not only will it help current employees but also the retired. General Motors can stop having to pay health insurance premiums on their retired workers, they’ll rely instead on NHS. With this relief, all our companies, even the small ones and new ones can better compete when they no longer have to concentrate some of their attention on the health and well-being of their employees.

The only people who will be unhappy with this plan are people who run the big health insurance companies now, and Big Pharma. Their time came and went, they can’t provide for us all, and they can’t do it as well as the government can. Their time will come to an end and we can move on knowing that we have secured our fellow citizens against the bleakness.

This isn’t a fully fleshed out plan, but these are some great ideas to get started with. If we don’t take healthcare reform seriously then we’re going to have a lot of blood on our collective hands. It is inhuman to allow your fellow man fall into the dirt and do nothing about it when you clearly can. Everything demands that we act sooner rather than later – basic human decency, even many popular religions all support an idea like this one, that even the lowliest member of our society does not go without care. Anything less and we do not deserve to look at ourselves in the mirror.