“And they lived happily ever after.” Think about this line for a few minutes. Are you living happily ever after? If not, what will it take for you to get there?

Live happily ever after now. Actually don’t. Life doesn’t work that way. The phrase “And they lived happily ever after” denies that there is any more story for them, nothing more is to be told about them so in a lot of ways, this is more of a curse than something you should end a story with. Better to end it with something like “And they had many more adventures, thrills, spills, happiness and sorrow. But that is a tale for another time.” instead.

There is a kind of odd finality to “And they lived happily ever after.” as if all their troubles were encompassed by this one event in their lives and after that, it was clear sailing. There never is clear sailing. That’s what life is and it’s far better to teach children that life is full of tumult. Convincing them that life proceeds in the way that “And they lived happily ever after” sets them up for one of life’s biggest disappointments.

I also question the notion that happiness is something that is coming down the pike. It’s a goal? Really? Why can’t happiness be a variable state that you can give yourself permission to feel right now? Declare that you are happy. Voilá! You’re done! I see this over and over again and it bothers me. People get it in their heads that they have to pursue happiness, they have to chase it like it was something to be hunted down. What would happen if you lived your life with the notion that you could simply assert happiness, find it materialize in your hands, and pretend you caught it? Pursue is the wrong word and “happily ever after” is the wrong tense! Happily now. Happy now. Happy now and always.

That’s better.