Today has been a comedy of complications. First it turns out that retail doesn’t give a damn about whether or not the roads are passable. We just endured the Snowpocalypse 2011, and while the sky did fall, it wasn’t as dire or dangerous as people had feared it might be. Overnight we accumulated probably 12-15 inches of snow and they all built up around my car and down my driveway. After I had some breakfast and relaxed a little, as Western had closed for business on Wednesday, I decided to try to get the garbage out to the street side for pickup. I got all dressed up, found some winter boots in the closet that I didn’t know we had, and opened the garage up. I got my shovel and started to heave-ho the snow out of my way. I got halfway down the driveway and one of my neighbors with a snowblower came up and asked if I wanted him to help me clear my driveway for ten bucks. I agreed and he went to get his pint-sized snowblower. He made quick work of the plow-drift that had built up at my driveways entrance and as he was snowplowing I was clearing off about a yard of snow with each push-and-shovel throw. He helped clear my driveway in about 5 minutes, dug out a notch in the snowbank roadside for my garbage trundle and even plowed clean a path for the mailman to get to my front door. All in all worth the ten bucks I think, he didn’t have to help me, I would have struggled through it, but it would have taken me much longer. I think it was an even deal.

But of course I don’t carry cash on me. So he was willing to wait for the money. This is the start of the complications. I needed to get $10 from the bank. This should be easy. It was not.

My first step was, after comics lunch with Scott I dropped him off at work and went to the PNC Branch at the corner of Westnedge and Romence roads. It’s a rather big branch and it was 2pm on a Wednesday, I didn’t think there would be any problems. Well, the bank was closed. The blizzard did that right quick. So no human beings at the bank, so I thought maybe I could pull the money out of the ATM, but I knew that the PNC ATM’s were only handing out $20’s. I thought I could cheat by going to Meijers and buying something cheap and then using my debit card, pull an extra $10 out, giving me what I’d need to pay off my neighbor. I got to Meijers and thought about what I needed or wanted. I couldn’t think of anything off the top of my head so I picked up a six-pack of Labatts for $5 and headed to the help-yourself checkout lane. After proving my age, I ran my debit card and tacked on another $10 to the deal. The Meijers system puked out the transaction and apparently there is a bank/computer glitch that renders all PNC Debit Card transactions invalid. So there I was in the help-yourself lane, with beer that was already ordered and I already verified my age so I bought it anyways using my budget-money, for which I certainly have enough to cover a $5 six-pack of beer. So now I had beer, but still no $10. Frustrated I left Meijers and I was driving home the safe way, which is down Kilgore Ave to Sprinkle and take that home, it has only very gentle grades, and it isn’t Westnedge Hill after a blizzard. On my way home I remembered that all the Speedway gas stations in Michigan are now outfitted with PNC ATM’s. So here I was, all the way full circle. I got to the Speedway, I withdrew $20, I went to the cashier and bought two $10’s with the $20, which elicited a grumpy comment from the gas station attendant – oh whatever – and got back in my car. Then I drove to the PNC Bank on Gull Road (closed as well, what a shocker!) and deposited back the extra $10, leaving me with a six-pack of beer and $10. I took Gull down to Texel, and counted off the addresses. Then I discovered to my chagrin that Texel is even-numbered halfway along and then it switches at the bend. *twitch* I finally got to my helpful neighbors house and knocked on the door. His wife opened the door, I handed her my $10 and thanked them for their kindness.

Now I’m home, I’ve taken care of what I had to and only had to go through this craziness because the banks were closed and ATM’s only spit out $20’s. At least I don’t owe my neighbor anything and that isn’t a cloud over my head.