Category Archives: Wireless

Nike+ Walk to Run Program

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I’ve started a program using the free Nike+ website which I started using originally because my iPod Nano’s built-in pedometer is built to sync workout data to the Nike+ service. It’s a tight bit of cross-integration between Apple and Nike. Once you start syncing your data, the next natural step is to go visit the Nike+ website. There you find games and challenges and lots of tools to get up and out of the house. Nike concentrates a lot on running and I’ve been doing a lot of walking, so when the Nike+ app lauds me for my best distance run, I know it’s just a long-distance walk.

One of the features of the Nike+ system are complementary coach-programs. You can select from a gallery of training programs to follow to achieve various athletic goals. They have a 5K training program, a 10K, Sprinting, and one that I elected to use called the Walk To Run program. This program is a 12 week long scheduled ramp-up to running. The first two weeks have been lots of walking with infrequently placed bursts of 1 minute run intervals. The idea is to get my body acclimated to running and to make sure all my joints, bones, and ligaments are introduced to this high-impact activity in a way that they can adjust slowly and most successfully.

The program so far has been a pleasure. I was using an old pair of New Balance sneakers, but I have a small laundry list of foot-related and run-related issues. First off, my foot size is unusual. I have a 12EEE foot. It’s big and it’s wide. No shoemaker actually makes wide shoes other than a handful and of those, only New Balance makes really nice athletic-style shoes for people with mud feet like me. My other problems are my weight, I want to lose seventy pounds, and lets face it, it’s not that I want to, it’s that I have to. I’ll have a much longer and happier life if I lose this seventy pound spare tire that I’m carrying everywhere. Another issue, and this is actually something I can’t change is that my feet are pronated. That means as I walk I put an uneven wear and stress on my shoes so that my toes tend to “fall inwards towards each other” as I stand and my heels on the outer edge scrub away. My feet are murder on shoes, eventually annihilating soles and their flat construction. My feet literally bludgeon new shapes into the soles of my shoes over a year or two. At the end of the year, shoes are utterly blown out and I have to toss them in the trash. It’s something I can’t change and I’ve accepted that my feet have this odd geometry. I muse that if I lose this weight, perhaps the pronation won’t be so pronounced. Only time will tell.

So far the Nike+ fitness program is working out well. Thanks to Scott I discovered a great picturesque spot to do a lot of my walking and running, around Spring Valley Lake Park. It’s about 2 minutes by car from my house and the paved path runs all around the lake. It’s about 3 miles around the lake proper and walking it twice gives a great walking workout, plus it’s nominally level so it makes running easier too. That all being said, I have run into a glitch. This weekend I’ll be going to Chicago to visit with friends and this could get in the way of my running program. I’m very fond of being able to “Have my cake and eat it too” so today for lunch, instead of sitting back and eating something bad for me I’m planning on going home, doing a quick-change, and running my program for lunch. I won’t be able to get to where I usually do my runs, but I will be able to get it in. While I’m in Chicago I’ll just have to wake up early and do my program run then so as to not get in the way of everyone else. Thankfully I have selected a fitness program that just requires sneakers, shorts, and a shirt. The gym is the road, and that’s very easy to get to.

So we’ll see how well this goes. My ultimate goal is to run 1 mile, then 2, and so on and so forth. I think that if I can train my body to run I can work myself up to 5 miles and then I can run to work. If I do that every day, twice a day, this weight that I carry around should start to drop off. We’ll have to see how it goes. I’ll blog more as I progress.

Nike+ Coaching Plan

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My job is killing me. Not in any dramatic way like radiation or asbestos or flaming ceiling tiles, but rather slowly by inactivity. Not that the people at WMU don’t care, they do, encouraging us on a 10k steps a day competition but frankly some of us Morlocks don’t have the time to spend walking about. It’s this idleness, this physical idleness that is making us sick.

I’ve been kicking around for a while that I should start to run. Everyone else is hitting the gym and bettering themselves, why can I do it too? No reason! So I decided that sooner rather than later would be a smashing good time to start training.

The Nike+ GPS app and the Nike+ site, for free, enable anyone with an iPhone to pick up a coaching program. The one I selected was walk-to-run 12 week program. Get started gradually and work myself up to running. I don’t want to compete, I don’t want to run marathons. I just want to drop all this extra weight.

Why not join a gym? Gyms are expensive, socially awkward, and usually frustrating. Waiting for a machine to open up can be an epic pain in the ass. This way the entire outdoors is my gym and technically I can exercise anytime I like, even in the rain. There is no excuse to not walk/run, since I can do it anywhere I am whenever I want and it doesn’t cost me one red cent.

So I will be blogging as I experience this adventure. Not during the actual huffnpuff, but likely right afterwards. Currently I look and feel like a tub of lard that is flopping along wildly. Hopefully with some willpower I can lose this weight, feel better, and maybe run without flopping over like a fish out of water. So keep your eyes peeled as I begin this adventure. 🙂

Using the Nook Simple Touch

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Last week I was pretty much 50-50 on whether or not I should get another device, in this particular case, a Barnes & Noble Nook Simple Touch e-ink Reader. I was hemming and hawing because I already enjoy my iPad so much, I didn’t know if the Nook would be just something to have to have it versus something I’d really use. Thanks to Scott, I got a chance to sit down and really look at a Nook before I had to buy one for myself. Even the test period didn’t really help much, it did shift me 60-40, in favor of the Nook, but I was still quite firmly sitting on that fence.

Later on that week I decided that I was going to get the Nook after all, and to hop off the fence. I did post a question to my blog and social networking groups, but only one or two people commented so that avenue wasn’t as useful as I had hoped. Thanks a a lot people! 😉 So I went to Scott’s store and Scott and I went through the dance, I asked to buy, he gave me his corporate-mandated pitch, and because I’m cheeky, I decided to add a B&N Membership to the entire thing, which did get me $10 off the Nook. Truth to be told, getting the membership (a renewal after it lapsed so long ago) was partly to boost Scott’s membership-card levels and partly for a treat that B&N now has in their cafe, a Key Lime Tart that is probably very bad for me, but tastes oh-so-good. Now I can get a discount on my guilty pleasure and from time to time get a Starbucks drink from people who I trust and who I know LISTEN. So, I got my Nook and we hit the road, heading somewhere in Scott’s new Juke. I sat there pawing at the new device and wanting to set it up. I wondered just how much of a charge might be on the device and if I could indeed set it up while in the car on a road trip. I turned the Personal Hotspot on my iPhone on and started my new Nook. It came with a 69% full battery. More than enough to get it up and running! So I had my Nook set up but no books on it. That came later. By the time I was really starting to explore the Nook we had reached our destination and it was time to put the gadget away.

The Nook is much like the iPad, in so far that Apple and Barnes & Noble both produce a semi-open/semi-locked device. Both devices can accept ePub file formatted e-Books. I copied all the ePub’s that I had over to my Nook and was very self-satisfied that none of them had a problem loading. The Nook doesn’t really have a way to get eBooks onto the device without buying them and pumping them through B&N’s infrastructure, but you can plug the device in and copy over your own ePub files, as many as you like. The Nook does have a little cheekiness to itself as it is. It’s billed as having a respectable storage amount, but you only get 250MB of user-accessible storage. This is kind of a gyp, but the Nook does provide a handy port for MicroSD on the side. After a while I noticed that my eBook collection would be bigger than the standard storage that came with the Nook itself and I (later on) got a 4GB MicroSD card from OfficeMax for just $17. Quite a deal. I set it all up and pushed my big library of ePub books over to the new Nook. It worked like a charm.

As I was browsing through Barnes & Noble’s store I saw a book that caught my eye. It was a Penguin Classic (those “classics” books with the plain covers and cheap prices) and it was Siddhartha by Herman Hesse. The book was very old, published in 1922. I scanned Project Gutenberg, which is a repository for public domain books and everything they have comes in ePub format. I found this book in PG, so I could skip buying it from B&N. No point in wasting money. I downloaded it on my laptop, copied it to my Nook, and I’ve been reading it as the first book on my Nook. I just finished it today and the experience was quite nice. Reading on the Nook is fast, the Nook ST is light as a feather and I really love it’s textured back. You can either tap/swipe the screen or use the dual edge button controls to advance the pages. The display is matte, it’s eInk, so it’s very easy on the eyes, and the fonts and sizes are of course configurable, which I really appreciate. The Nook doesn’t repaint the screen after each page, but only after 5 or 6 of them. This leaves little bits of eInk debris behind, but frankly I didn’t even notice it. The one thing I was bummed about was that I couldn’t find the dictionary feature on the test Nook. Turns out I didn’t read the manual, but once I accidentally tapped-and-held on a word I saw the way of it and that really worked for me. As I said, reading on the Nook is quite pleasurable and reading fast is easier than having to futz around with a physical book. It’s lighter than my iPad and doesn’t have the battery burn that the iPad does.

The Nook is not all rainbows and butterflies however. This past weekend I took my Nook to South Haven’s Beach for some light reading while everyone played around in Lake Michigan. In order to keep my device clean and safe I put it in a ziplock quart-size baggie. This worked well until I got out in to the bright sunshine. As the plastic would touch the screen the Nook would register it as an actual touch, since the Nooks system uses Infrared sensors to register touches on the display surface. I discovered I could avoid all of that by pulling the baggie tight against the Nook device, and that worked acceptably well. Beyond this little oddity, which really isn’t a problem, just something to watch out for and cope with, I am VERY HAPPY with my Nook Simple Touch. For the pricetag, only $139 bucks, you really can’t go wrong! The Nook does need some add-ons, but they aren’t too expensive. The little Nook light is nice to have, as well as that MicroSD card. Add it up and you still come up to about $150-160 bucks. Not bad for being able to haul around 1400 books in my pocket, on demand, able to read anytime and anyplace I like.

The only unanswered question is how will airlines consider the Nook? Even when it’s “Off” it displays an image. Do airlines regard the Nook as a device that needs to be turned off, or a book that doesn’t matter because you can’t turn it off? That’s something that I’ll have to find out once I fly again.

 

Google Plus

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For the past few weeks, ever since it was closed to the majority of the public I’ve been toying around with Google Plus. At first I was hesitant to invest much energy in it because I got so burned with the boondoggle that was Google Wave. I immediately noticed that the user interface seemed oddly familiar, as it turns out one of the designers for Google Plus was an old Macintosh designer. Who couldn’t see that coming from miles away? The interface was clean, it didn’t have annoying Zynga games or any of the other dreck that Facebook has to contend with as part of it’s heritage of being a “College Kids Social Site”. Google Plus was something new.

After a time I started to think of Google Plus as a weapon Google designed and aimed directly at Facebook, as it seems that the two products are pretty much direct competitors to each other. I had this view for a few weeks until I saw a slide presentation that revealed that Google’s hubris was a lot larger than anyone had previously considered. Google doesn’t want to fight Facebook. Google wants to fight an entire computing paradigm. Currently the world is in the throes of migrating towards “thin clients” and “cloud services” and Google is angling to become the assumed foundation for that entire new world. There are balls, and then there are Google Balls. It’s not so much Facebook that Google Plus is fighting. It’s like an anonymous-but-incredibly-attractive man in a black leather jacket came into Facebook’s house and almost incidentally smothered Facebook with a giant pillow. You can see that he isn’t really holding the pillow but you can see that Facebook is struggling as if Googles entire weight was holding that pillow over Facebooks head. I’ve already left Facebook for nearly all intents and purposes. The only thing that Facebook retains that is still somewhat useful is their event subsystem, but I fully expect that one of the next steps that Google will take will be a new events system that leverages Google Calendar and Google Plus into a new product, maybe, called Google Events. Only time will tell on that one.

Using Google Plus is as I’ve said, a breath of fresh air. I love using it and I can’t really explain why that is. I think it’s because there are a lot of little things that all cluster together and when you add them up, Google Plus has some seriously powerful features. Instead of Facebook’s Like, you get a +1. At first this seemed rather like a feature-for-feature thing, until I noticed that every single item in a Google Search carried this shimmering (yes, it really shimmers) +1 button next to each item! So Google has found a way to instantly socialize search. Hah. Amongst all the other things, I learned by browsing the web that Google’s Picasa product, which quietly got a cloud-treatment called Web Picasa, that the service has a 1GB data storage cap, but that the cap only counts on files that are bigger than a certain very-large-value and that it’s unlimited storage just like it is on Facebook. Again, Hah. The best part of Google Plus, at least for me, is the Circles functionality. It’s very clean and very elegant. I have my Friends, my Family, Coworkers, Followers, Google+ New People… a circle for each of my social groups. I can control which Circle or set of Circles gets which updates right when I write the updates themselves. This is perfect for me as I’ve learned, in the crucible of Facebook, that sequestering certain individuals in my social life is essential. These people, in the past, have unilaterally demanded on censoring what I have to write, even if those things are my opinions and frankly are none of their business and if I were to be really picky, violate my First Amendment rights. With Google Plus I can make sure that they never see the things that would normally upset them and with one very elegant control choice, make sure that they will never have to be upset again by the things that I write. I marvel at this kind of structure that Google has provided people like me. Google Circles are a virtual representation of how I structure my life! There is Work Andy and Home Andy and Friend Andy and so many kinds of me, all configured specifically for that group. My friends wouldn’t recognize me at work, because I conduct myself far differently than I do anywhere else. Likewise my work acquaintances have never really met the real me. They are the Coworkers Circle, and that Google brought this to the forefront really appeals to me and gratifies me.

Google Plus has half of the keystone for get my full adoration. They submitted an iOS App for the iPhone and that was cleared by Apple and it sits on the second row on my home screen of my iPhone. The other half of the keystone will either make that iOS app they already have a Universal App, or come out with an app formatted for the iPad. Once that comes to pass there will be very little if any reason for me to ever return to Facebook. In many ways it’s almost an odd new competition between Google and Facebook. To see who can come out first with an iPad app. Facebook declared that an iPad is not a mobile device and so they were never going to make a Facebook app for the iPad. Then it was revealed on the web that Facebook did have an iPad app hidden in their iPhone app and once it was revealed Facebook did enough to show their hands as manipulative petulant assholes and immediately put the kibosh on that iPad app. It may not be ready and they may not want to release it because the app isn’t up to their standards, but that’s just a red herring. It would be such a deep coup if Google got it’s Google Plus iPad App approved before Facebook’s iPad app. It would be one more slap in the face to Facebook as Google actively ignores it and snuffs it out at the same time.

If you would like to join me on Google Plus, all you have to do is send me the email you would like to associate with Google Plus and I will send out an invite. I apparently have an inexhaustible supply of invites, so if you aren’t on Google Plus and you would like to see what all the hullabaloo is about, all you have to do is ask.

 

 

 

 

 

Nook Simple Touch

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I asked Scott to bring home a Nook Simple Touch, because he works at Barnes & Nobles he can take advantage of “borrowing” things and bringing them back. This gives me a chance to really sit down and try to use some of the technology that Barnes & Nobles has brought to life.

I’m only half-heartedly looking for a eBook reader as my iPad does a very good job at displaying eBooks. I have a gaggle of eBooks already saved up, all in the ePub format and I’ve been off-and-on reading them both on my iPad and the Nook Simple Touch reader. I’m quite on the fence between the two devices. Here’s the layout before me:

Points for iPad:

– I won’t have to buy anything new. I already own my iPad. It does a great job at displaying books and is compatible with a gaggle of formats even some the Nook Simple Touch cannot handle, like graphic-intensive PDF files.

– The iPad is backlit, which makes it easy to read at night without turning on the lights and disturbing anyone else who is trying to sleep and is light-sensitive. This isn’t as big a reason as I originally thought because when it’s late and there isn’t any light outside I’m most likely going to pass out and reading is just going to push me that much faster towards unconsciousness.

Points for Nook:

– The iPad is heavy. Much heavier than the Nook Simple Touch. That might be a compelling reason to switch.

– The Nook can display many of the ePub files I already have quite well. The display is eInk and while it is not backlit, it is slightly easier to read.

– I prefer the fonts on the Nook Simple Touch to the font selections on iBooks on my iPad.

– The Nook has a 2-month (really?) battery life, while my iPad has at most a 1 to 2 day battery life.

– The Nook doesn’t have the iPad’s obnoxious annoying notification system always popping up bibble-babble while I’m trying to read.

So what to do? I can easily afford to buy a Nook Simple Touch, the price is certainly right, at $139 dollars. My only misgivings about the Nook is no built-in backlight and no available dictionary lookup feature that exists in the iBooks app on my iPad. Do I go ahead and buy the Nook Simple Touch and enjoy it or should I stay with my iPad? I use the iPad for lots of other things other than reading books, but there is something about having one device that does it all instead of having a gaggle of devices for specialized uses. The only thing that is outstanding is the weight and size. The Nook is easy to hold in my hands, while the iPad is heavy. Is it enough of a reason to plunk down the money and get a Nook?

Another idea I have is that it would help Scott’s store’s bottom line. I like B&N above every other bookselling company, especially over Amazon. Do I stimulate the economy by buying a Nook Simple Touch? I’m on the fence. Teeter-totter. Is there anyone out there with an iPad and a Nook? How did you resolve this conundrum and get off the fence?

Verizon

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My day was poisoned by Verizon and Asurion, one of them is a nationwide wireless carrier, the other is an insurance company. They are the Reese’s Cup to my wasted blown-out day. Thanks guys.

Situation: Coworker breaks iPhone, takes it to a Verizon store, nothing comes of it. Coworker gives me the dead phone and I try to make heads or tails out of the knotwork that is Verizon and Asurion.

Email 1: (me writing to Verizon Rep, upset at being lead on a wild goose chase for most of the day, MIKGOVTEAM is an email to a bunch of people who are supposed to help me, a part of Verizon’s Customer Care … Team.)

Hello,
Thanks for the resolution on this problem. I have contacted Asurion and completed the affidavit. My client indicated that the report that the device was exposed to water is incorrect, it fell face-first onto a concrete surface. Because this is the word of our coworker versus a Verizon store we have issued new policies for our clients to not approach Verizon ever again because of these miscommunications. Instead all of our clients will route their phone issues through my office and we will contact Verizon directly where the conditions of the events can be exchanged clearly and without any of this miscommunication. We are unused to how Verizon conducts it’s business because of our previous relationship with Sprint and Asurion when it came to handling insurance. Sprint acted as our representative to Asurion, which differs fundamentally to how Verizon manages the three-party relationship. This too has changed our policies and procedures when dealing with your company and when dealing with Asurion. It is rather upsetting as a customer to know that Verizon stores cannot be trusted, cannot provide services, and that our only contact is MIKGOVTEAM.
The only thing keeping us as your customers is your network.
Pray for the health of that network.

Response from Verizon:
Andy, I am sorry to hear that you don’t seem to value the service my team and I provide. There are many reasons for VZW Government contracted customers to only be able to work directly through the Government team, the main one being security. The stores are restricted on what they can see, they can’t see government accounts.
I would be happy to meet with you to discuss the many other reason for our decision to not allow retail environments access to your account, I can assure you it is to your benefit.

My final email to Verizon:

The entire reason for us having a mobile infrastructure is first and foremost for our major gift directors and engagement team to have as much of a reliable wireless connection as I can provide for them. Verizon was selected because Verizon’s network is the largest in the United States and therefore won by default. Verizon wasn’t selected initially in the past because of a difference in toolsets provided by Verizon and Sprint. Sprint has proven themselves to be grossly incompetent when it comes to managing a network and right before I migrated everyone to Verizon, Sprint was “Circling the Toilet Drain”. I have yet to be actually pleased by any wireless carrier as they all try to be more than what they really are. Verizon fought against this tooth and nail, doing everything in their power to refute being a “commodity carrier” but in the end, that’s all the customers really want. The value-added components I’m sure gratify other wireless customers and they’ve expressed their thanks to you. I do admit that it comes in handy, when it works as designed. Verizon provides the network and Apple provides the devices. It was 8/10ths the iPhone and 2/10ths the Network. I informed Sprint of this and they sent a fool to me and actually dared to argue with me about Droid. It was that meeting in which my Sprint contract died, because they sent a fool to actually pick a fight with their customer. I was paying a three-grand-a-month contract and they lost it because they sent a fool.

My attitude about mobile carriers in the United States is pretty much identical. Every company is pretty much all the same. Sprint, AT&T, T-Mobile, and Verizon. The networks are different, the frequencies are different and the rest is a dart board of bullshit that the customers have to put up with in order to get work done. I’d like to say that any one company is better than their competitors, but they aren’t. Verizon has the network but the stores are chock full of slime-balls trying to sell as much accessory junk as possible. Sprint is incompetent but the stores are reliable. I don’t regard AT&T as even a mobile carrier as they are just Cingular wearing the Death Star’s face. It’s macabre and it fools nobody. Cingular was incompetent on their own and their only singular saving grace was the iPhone, as AT&T. So in the end it doesn’t really matter how much I like any one company. Sprint screwed me with a $6000 billing error and I had to go through at least four wireless field reps and even still not getting anywhere as they continuously screw up billing.

So now we’re predominantly with your company and we just have to face some rather grim realities. It’s a compromise that we make. We trade a really quite excellent network for pretty much everything else. I have yet to visit a single Verizon store here in Kalamazoo (and man, are there a lot!) where I’m not either a used-car-shopper or in one case mistakenly thrown out of a store because looking for an iPhone bumper case is something AT&T can help me with… :~|

This entire interaction with Trish’s iPhone really had to come about eventually. It exposed a situation that we were not expecting to happen. One of my clients broke her phone, this was eventually going to happen. It’s why we bought the TEP Insurance because I know my clients have butterfingers and these devices would eventually start getting damaged. I made a mistake, so did Andy M, my assistant. We wrongly assumed that if Trish walked into any Verizon store that she could lay her dearly departed phone on the counter, that the Verizon store representatives would look up her phone number, see that it was a Verizon account, and then offer to replace her iPhone. What I was really hoping for was that the Verizon rep could then help her program the Exchange information on her iPhone and she could limp along with her device until she came back to WMU to get it polished off. If there was any costs associated with this entire hypothetical event, that they would be simply posted to the account. At best I was hoping for Verizon to offer her a warranty replacement free of charge and at worst replace the phone and ding us our insurance deductible. All of this so that I could tell all my clients that they could, if out in the big wide world, spy a Verizon store and know that they were covered, because a helpful person from Verizon was in any one of the multitude of Verizon stores and that they, in a manner of speaking, had my back.

What turned out to be was not that. Trish went to a Verizon store, they erroneously noted water damage (for which I know both Apple and Verizon have it in their best interests to push as hard as possible, since water damage isn’t covered by warranties) and they indeed proved the device was shot. They told Trish that they couldn’t do anything at all. And then Trish had to bring her dead device to me. I started with MIKGOVTEAM and was told that I had to go to Asurion. What really got me was the vicious circle that the both of you created. Verizon pointing to Asurion, Asurion pointing to Verizon and I’m in the middle, with a broken phone, and no way to resolve the circle. The advice from MIKGOVTEAM was useless. Being told to “Call Asurion” when I have a page from Asurion that says “Call Verizon” is just stupid. That’s when I reached out for you and Kim, since I was obviously getting nowhere in a big hurry. The process with Asurion wasn’t pleasant either, when I got to that. I had to cover everything all over again with them, get yet another claim number, and fill out an affidavit proving I am who I say I am and then faxing it to them.

So where we stand now is we can’t really trust any Verizon store. They run the gamut from used-car-salesmen to barely verbal thugs. They “note” water damage when there really isn’t any just to weasel out of having to put up with a warranty issue and then all of this that happened. If we invalidate all the Verizon stores and all I get from MIKGOVTEAM is “Call Asurion, 888-888-8888. Talk to them.” messages, then where exactly is the customer care, because I certainly don’t see it. So… to cope with all of this I’ve told my iPhone-using coworkers to just avoid Verizon stores altogether and bring their phone issues to me directly so I can corral all our dealings with your company through my office. It’s just another compromise. I am trading all that I wanted, the idea that even if my clients are in Houston, Texas, with a dead iPhone, that they will be able to get it fixed quickly for Verizon’s nationwide network. In the end, that’s what Verizon is to me. It’s the network. What I was really after isn’t possible and really all I need to know is that is how it’s going to be. I lower my expectations to match and we’re back to being happy customers.

When my clients get to Houston, Texas and realize their phones are dead they’ll have to find a Kinko’s and ship their phones to me so I can initiate an insurance claim, wait the days for Asurion to get to whatever they have to do, get the phone back to me and then FedEx it overnight to my clients. It’s messy and inconvenient and painfully expensive, but this is what we have to do in order to compromise.

If Verizon decides to make any of this better, I’ll be first in line with a smile and ready gratitude. I will admit that the website, when it works, works well. But Steve, you have to also know that it took Verizon nearly a month before I could reliably purchase iPhones through my website portal. The first half dozen iPhones I had to order manually through Kim. I’m sure there are other things that you and your team can do for us, but how much of it will be actually needed beyond ordering new devices, dealing with damaged devices, and the assumed-it’s-coming billing fiascos? Most of which I can already do through the website, and the billing fiascos, well, those will certainly be treasured moments yet to come. I don’t expect much and really all I’m after is the network, so don’t feel bad. It’s the best we can do with this compromise.

After my numerous experiences with Verizon stores, I certainly understand why you’ve established a walled garden around us all. I certainly don’t expect Verizon to change, but it will help you to understand that what we’ve lost stings quite badly. I can hope that we’ll never have another broken iPhone to deal with, but we both know it’s just a matter of time. At least now I know not to expect anything from the stores and I can skip MIKGOVTEAM and just contact Asurion directly. The only other reason I would need to contact you would be to help resolve problems with Verizon. The only eventuality I can think of is when Verizon screws up billing, and that might never happen, so if the world works out for the best, I won’t need to contact you or your team at all. If that isn’t the definition of a happy customer, I don’t know what is.

Now all we have to wait for is the other shoe to drop and witness the three-ring-circus that is Asurion. I fully expect that they’ll screw up and send us an empty box full of shredded newspaper and a $9000 bill, 60 days late with a collection notice rubber-banded to the box. My professional expectations start out at raging incompetence and there is nowhere to go but up!

Not going to pay a lot for that muffler!

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When I first brought Verizon networks to my workplace and selected them for our mobile technology carrier (remember, I care for the carrier about as much as I care for a particular rib of celery) we discovered pretty early on that we were getting hosed on MMS messaging. There is a difference between MMS and SMS. Of course nobody knows what either of these are and so we have to melt this all down into obnoxiously simple terms like “photo-texting” and “texting”. People would prefer “texting” to “Short Message Service”… whatever.

So we had MMS on these phones on accident. Sending any MMS traffic with Verizon unless you have a plan for it (bullshit carrier moneymaking cash-grab) costs about a dollar a shot. MMS can do a lot, including a pretty nifty “Multiple SMS MMS Message” format so you can address one SMS message to many targets and they’ll all get the message at the same time. In order to keep our Verizon bill from becoming poisoned with MMS bullshit we had to turn on MMS Block on each line. This blocks MMS traffic as well as this pretty neat multiple-destination SMS feature, which I find rather stupid, that it should be tossed out with MMS. Of course, like most things that irritate me in my life, I found a way around my bullshit carriers issues and filthy money-grubbing ways with an app and one single change to my iPhones options.

First, you download an app called “Groups” which allows you to manipulate address book groups in your iPhone, it also allows you to select multiple people for inclusion on an SMS message. Then on your iPhone, you go to Settings, then Messages, and turn off MMS Messaging. When you do this, and use Groups, and send one SMS to multiple people the phone behaves as it should. It makes a duplicate of your message and sends the message out one-at-a-time queue-like to all your SMS targets. Because SMS with our particular plan is complimentary (makes you wonder why they used to charge for it, filthy cash-grubbers) this path is a snap. It takes a bit longer to send out your messages, but at least they do get sent out to people en-masse. So you can get your lost MMS feature back without having to spend more money on the black hole that is your carrier.

If I could whack all the carriers with a shovel and bury them in shallow unmarked graves I would. I’m not particular, I hate them all. It’s not a customer relationship, it’s a battle of wills against a filthy tentacled monster bent on doing whatever it takes to ruin your day and your life. They are all the same, it’s just the flavor of bullshit changes from one to the other. I quite enjoy it when I find an option that lets me stick it to them, at least in a little way.

P.S. If you work for a carrier, I heartily recommend that you not read my blog, not follow me on twitter, or on facebook. And if you do, I invite you to stop. Your absence from my life will not make me unhappy. All of these relationships are unpleasant ones. Lets save each other the agony, okay?

Whither LTE?

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I just got a notice that Verizon is going to be expanding their LTE service in the lower peninsula of Michigan and covering Flint, Detroit, Lansing, and Grand Rapids. That Kalamazoo isn’t on that list is only sauce for the goose of course, but it’s a particular bittersweet sauce.

What’s the problem with really fast mobile broadband traffic? The problem is twofold, and it’s partially a problem with the consumer group and partially with the carrier. First, what is the consumer going to do with 5 to 12 mbps downlink and 2 to 5 mbps uplink? It comes down to applications and the speeds at which they are most well suited. Mobile data currently is composed of streaming traffic such as XM and Pandora, PIM data such as BES traffic, email, CalDAV and CardDAV traffic, and small application data such as navigation apps and other social media applications. Currently all of these applications work well on 3G networks, and moving to LTE, well, what would that get you? The applications themselves aren’t really going to benefit from the increase in network speed, but there is one network application that will benefit and that is video. Video uplink and video downlink. Much like what drove VHS development in the eighties and nineties, it is going to be pornography that will flow over these fast circuits. It’s not productivity anymore, that putters along at 3G speeds, now it’s going to be prurient content that dominates the airwaves once LTE traffic is established. This of course is a trap. The next problem is the carrier itself. LTE traffic is going to encourage people to consume more network traffic over their mobile device and porn is just the tip of the iceberg. Verizon is going to establish data caps, if they haven’t already, and this is going to be a cash cow for any carrier. If you give a busy male executive “Broadband in your pocket” then he’s going to most likely end up trying to seek out “Broads in your pocket”. They’ll be pounding down the gigabytes. After that, the only other application that is best suited for really fast networks is BitTorrent traffic. So people will be consuming porn and illegal movies on their mobile devices and generally making both a biochemical and legal mess of themselves.

Of course we can’t discount the why behind LTE. Verizon, along with all the other carriers are pressured to always enhance their services that they provide. So much like the insipid megapixel battles when digital cameras were first being developed we’ll now have a “G” battle over ever-increasing speeds. A network that is super-fast, built for porn and huge carrier bills. This has your average white male shareholders pants filling with reproductive fluids just at the thought of the profits-to-come.

So I call bullshit on LTE. It’s bullshit because it’s core application is fapping. If that’s all there is, then LTE is just that, just so much fapping. It’s bullshit because it’s a money trap for fools dumb enough to subscribe to it. Once the population gets this mobile broadband experience they are going to blithely blow right past their data caps and land smack dab in wireless-bill-bankruptcy. I can’t wait until the wife opens the bill and sees a $1600 charge for a massive use of data and ask her husband, who told her that the reason his right arm was so much bigger than his left was because of his handedness in Tennis. Of course. Sure it is. The only people who will benefit from LTE will be the carriers. They’ll be raking in the cash and laughing their way to the bank. Mark my words.

Upgrade Your iPhone or iPad’s Storage With Seagate GoFlex Satellite | Cult of Mac

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Upgrade Your iPhone or iPad’s Storage With Seagate GoFlex Satellite | Cult of Mac.

I’ve thought about an item like this when I was standing in line two April’s ago waiting for my iPad at Best Buy. What could enable me to buy the smallest device (16GB) without having to sacrifice a huge pool of storage? When I bought the device I was sure that someone would eventually come up with something. I was right, there were at least two apps:

  • http://projectswithlove.com/streamtome/ – Stream To Me
  • http://www.zumocast.com/ – ZumoCast
Both of these services allow you to place twin applications, one on your computer at home or at work and the other application on your iOS device. This design makes much more sense to me than the Seagate drive linked to above. If you’ve got access to the web, why not use it? Plus this way your data is more secure than some drive that can be stolen or confiscated. Both apps could arguably access every last shred of your content if you had a storage system big enough to handle all of it. Arguably way more than 500GB and you wouldn’t have to contend with a rather weak battery and wondering when the drive will stop working because it’s out of juice. Just having one device where you have to watch the battery is surely enough for anyone! I can’t see this option being useful when you have other options like Stream To Me or ZumoCast handy.