This tale of woe begins in October of 2015. I take my 2007 Hyundai Santa Fe into Maple Hill Hyundai for an oil change, and I learn about a service campaign, there is a recall on the Valve Cover Gasket for all Santa Fe’s like mine. Maple Hill performs the operation; I get a new gasket and a new alternator and the oil change. I drive away happy; everything is back to normal.

At the end of 2017, I start noticing some odd lights in my car, and generally odd behavior starting to crop up. I’ve got 130000 miles on the vehicle, so I figure that it’s cold weather and old age. The gas tank needle gets daffy, not registering full tanks of gas, so I use the trip-o-meter to measure out 200 miles and then fill up from there. I can adapt. Then on really cold mornings, I notice the battery light flickers for a little bit, alternating with the seatbelt light, but after a few minutes both go out. I drive it around, and everything is normal.

Then we went to Chicago, Illinois to C2E2. The Santa Fe loaded with suitcases and comic books, I drive it into the parking structure, and that’s that. We have a wonderful time in Chicago, and then we pull it out of the parking structure. I notice that the battery light and seatbelt light have started to blink, but then it goes away and I figure that it’s business as usual. I drop off my niece and her boyfriend at their car and then drive off. As I approach the highway, the battery light and seatbelt light continue to flicker. We get on I-94, headed back to Michigan, and right after we cross from Illinois to Indiana, the battery light is on. Then TPMS, BRAKE, ABS, AIRBAG, all the lights turn on and Check Engine comes on. Then the lights get dimmer and dimmer, and we roll into a Walmart parking lot.

I’m panicking. My car is dying, I’m 125 miles from home, and it’s late Sunday night. After I chill out in the Walmart, we get back to the car, and I turn it on. Check Engine is still on, but everything else is off, and the car is behaving like everything is fine. So we tool around the parking lot a few times, and everything remains fine. So I get on the highway again. We get 25 miles down the road, and then the battery light starts to blink. Then again, everything goes downhill. The car gradually slows down, until I’m pretty much just crawling along on idle speed, the gas pedal is hilariously worthless. We turn a few times and get right up to the parking lot of an Econolodge. All that is left is one tiny little lamp in the instrument cluster, and it’s half-lit anyhow. The car is fully dead. Transmission is stuck in everything but park, and so I get out, and with Scott’s help, we try to push the Santa Fe up the little incline to the parking lot of the Econolodge Hotel. A stranger appears out of nowhere and runs over and asks if he can help, and all three of us push the Santa Fe to the middle of the empty parking lot. I turn the car off, but the panic sets in again because I can’t put the transmission in park. I wait a few minutes and try to turn the car on, I get accessories to come on, and the transmission goes to park. I turn everything off and get a room at that Econolodge.

Now, here is where we place a mental pin in the tale, keep this spot in mind because what happens next is full of consequence.

I wake up the next morning, I don’t know what is wrong with my car, and my first idea is to see if I can find a repair shop. There are lots of auto dealers around, there’s a Kia, there is a Chevy, and a Toyota, but no Hyundai. So I figure I need some sort of shop, so I search Yelp for “auto repair,” and I find Adam’s Towing and Service of Porter, Indiana. I call them, reach Adam, and tell him what happened to my car. He suggests that it’s the alternator and I ask for a tow so he can work on it. The tow guy comes, super amazing fellow, and they get my Santa Fe on the skid and tow it away. I follow after in a rental car I picked up from an Enterprise location in Burns Harbor. We get to Adam’s shop, and they start working on it. I take the rental back to Kalamazoo and drop off everything; we get a call from Adam, my car is ready. He replaced the Serpentine Belt, and the Alternator and everything is back to normal. We get back, drop the rental car and pick up the Santa Fe and drive it back to Kalamazoo. Everything is back to normal. While talking to Adam, he asks if there was anything about motor oil with my car, because the alternator was soaked with oil and that’s why it died. I remember back to the service campaign that Hyundai performed and immediately do a Google Search, and many other people have had the gasket go out on them and struggle with Hyundai about repairs. So I’m thinking that’s what is going on with my Santa Fe. I go to Maple Hill Hyundai, and I learn that the job cannot be cleared because the leak is coming from the Timing Cover Gasket and that repairing that is a $1200 to $1600 process. For me, that totals the Santa Fe.

So then I start talking with Hyundai Corporate, talk to many people about my problem, and I believe that the problem is still the valve cover gasket. That motor oil that was inside my engine got outside and killed the alternator. I’d like my money back from the repair job, and I’d like someone to fix the gasket, just like Hyundai did in October 2015. Just like all those other Santa Fe owners who had this EXACT SAME PROBLEM.

So then, after being told that it wasn’t covered by Maple Hill, I reached out to another shop where I had my brakes done previously and brought it to them. The owner said “How do they know where the leak is, did they clean the side of the engine and run a dye test?” and the answer is no. While we had the hood open, he also pointed out that the plastic cowl that covers the engine was missing nuts, and one was cross-threaded and abused badly by a torque driver. But I don’t know who did it, so who is to blame? Haven’t a clue, but there are only three shops in this tale, Maple Hill, Adam’s, and the place where it sits now.

So then this morning I call Hyundai and I relate the tale to the rep, updating with my misgivings about which gasket really is the problem, and that I want proof that it is either the valve cover gasket or the timing cover gasket, and that I don’t want my money back from the alternator fix, but I really want to prevent this from happening again because I want my car to work for me for a while longer if I can manage it. I relate the tale, and then when I mention Adam’s Towing and Service and the shop that will wash the engine block and run the dye test, the Hyundai rep stops me and tells me that I can stop right there. Hyundai refuses to honor any warranty, expressly or implicitly formed because I took my vehicle to an Independent Repair Facility. So, go back to the pin I mentioned about the momentous choice I made. I was stranded on the highway, no warranty from Hyundai, no clue it was the gasket, and so because I didn’t push the vehicle to a Hyundai dealership, I’m quite shit out of luck.

So that’s the end of it. Hyundai walks away, from a service campaign that they botched, maybe, how can anyone tell? Nobody but the IRF even mentioned cleaning the engine and running a dye test! And what burns the most is that while I was regaling the Hyundai Corporate Rep with my tale of suffering, she searches for a Hyundai dealer in Chesterton, Indiana. Norris Hyundai. She then proceeds to waggle this Hyundai dealers location in my face, over the phone. If only I had pushed my dead 2000 pound Santa Fe to Norris Hyundai, then maybe Hyundai would talk to me. But because I was in the middle of the dark, with a dead car, work on Monday, and all the other stress, that I didn’t search for Norris and I didn’t PUSH MY CAR THERE, that there is nothing left to talk about and that I should have a nice day.

So I am done with Hyundai. I am done with the brand; I’m done with Maple Hill. There is no point in calling Fox Hyundai or Norris Hyundai, or anyone else. Hyundai only has one thought, and that is to hide in their fine print and treat me with such disrespect that it takes my breath away. They have no interest in their customers, no interest in repairing what is their fault. So I’m going to find out since it doesn’t matter now, I’m throwing in all the way with my new repair shop. This fellow will wash the side of the engine block, add the dye, and give me an authoritative answer as to which gasket is leaking. And then I’ll face the question of what to do from that point forward. It will answer the question, is it the timing cover gasket or the valve cover gasket? And if it is the valve cover, I might pay to have this new fellow do the work.

It is clear to me that Hyundai is uninterested in being human to me. They want to be a company, and that is their prerogative. It is my choice to associate with humans or companies, and I make my choices based on what I perceive to be the humanity of whom I am dealing with. Hyundai hides behind their fine print and their rules. That’s perfectly fine. I don’t want anything to do with a company like that. And if that means that I burn all the bridges to all the automakers in my life, then so be it. I have to make a stand, and I will live with the consequences. I will fucking walk if I have to. This deep violation of the Golden Rule is so upsetting to me that I cannot even see straight, so that’s fine Hyundai, hide behind your fine print and your rules and utterly fail to treat others as you would have them treat you.

There is a place in hell for you, and the punishment for a company is expressed regarding karma. You deserve what you get.