When I first brought Verizon networks to my workplace and selected them for our mobile technology carrier (remember, I care for the carrier about as much as I care for a particular rib of celery) we discovered pretty early on that we were getting hosed on MMS messaging. There is a difference between MMS and SMS. Of course nobody knows what either of these are and so we have to melt this all down into obnoxiously simple terms like “photo-texting” and “texting”. People would prefer “texting” to “Short Message Service”… whatever.

So we had MMS on these phones on accident. Sending any MMS traffic with Verizon unless you have a plan for it (bullshit carrier moneymaking cash-grab) costs about a dollar a shot. MMS can do a lot, including a pretty nifty “Multiple SMS MMS Message” format so you can address one SMS message to many targets and they’ll all get the message at the same time. In order to keep our Verizon bill from becoming poisoned with MMS bullshit we had to turn on MMS Block on each line. This blocks MMS traffic as well as this pretty neat multiple-destination SMS feature, which I find rather stupid, that it should be tossed out with MMS. Of course, like most things that irritate me in my life, I found a way around my bullshit carriers issues and filthy money-grubbing ways with an app and one single change to my iPhones options.

First, you download an app called “Groups” which allows you to manipulate address book groups in your iPhone, it also allows you to select multiple people for inclusion on an SMS message. Then on your iPhone, you go to Settings, then Messages, and turn off MMS Messaging. When you do this, and use Groups, and send one SMS to multiple people the phone behaves as it should. It makes a duplicate of your message and sends the message out one-at-a-time queue-like to all your SMS targets. Because SMS with our particular plan is complimentary (makes you wonder why they used to charge for it, filthy cash-grubbers) this path is a snap. It takes a bit longer to send out your messages, but at least they do get sent out to people en-masse. So you can get your lost MMS feature back without having to spend more money on the black hole that is your carrier.

If I could whack all the carriers with a shovel and bury them in shallow unmarked graves I would. I’m not particular, I hate them all. It’s not a customer relationship, it’s a battle of wills against a filthy tentacled monster bent on doing whatever it takes to ruin your day and your life. They are all the same, it’s just the flavor of bullshit changes from one to the other. I quite enjoy it when I find an option that lets me stick it to them, at least in a little way.

P.S. If you work for a carrier, I heartily recommend that you not read my blog, not follow me on twitter, or on facebook. And if you do, I invite you to stop. Your absence from my life will not make me unhappy. All of these relationships are unpleasant ones. Lets save each other the agony, okay?