I’ve had a hell of a time with Verizon. We have a Verizon Government contract at work because we are a governmental entity along with being a non-profit.
To set the stage, my system support specialist wanted to drop his old phone and take his number that he likes and that everyone knows belongs to him and have that number assigned to his work iPhone 5. We asked Verizon a few times and it took a fair bit for them to come around and we eventually got it off and running, or at least so we thought. Then this email exchange happened. I have redacted the numbers and names to protect the guilty.
Verizon Government said:
Thank you for contacting the Verizon Wireless Government Customer Operations Team. We have received your request to transfer [NEW PHONE NUMBER] to account [VZ ACCOUNT NUMBER]. In order to complete your request, please have the end user ensure the device and price plan are associated with Verizon Wireless and not Alltell. We are unable to transfer an Alltell device and price plan.
—
VZ Rep said:
Andy the user on this account needs to have his rate plans changed to non share Verizon plans. Once that is done they should be able to process the transfer.
—
Verizon Government said:
We have completed your request to perform an Assumption of Liability (AOL) for mobile number [NEW PHONE NUMBER] . On January 31, 2013 we account number removed the aforementioned mobile number from [EMPLOYEE]’s private account and reassigned to [INSTITUTIONS] account number [ACCOUNT NUMBER].
—
VZ Rep said:
Please put the line [NEW PHONE NUMBER] on the AC1000 min plan code 74053 with the 10.00 hot spot. See below.
—
Verizon Government to VZ Rep:
Dear [VZ REP],
Additional information or clarification is needed so that we may process your request. We apologize for any inconvenience this may cause.
Information Needed:
• With the line of [NEW PHONE NUMBER], the requested price plan of 74053: AMERICAS CHOICE II 1000 SHARE EMAIL & DATA+N&W+IN UNL $96.14 is not valid for the simple phone of Samsung Reality SCH-u820.
—
VZ Rep to Me:
Andy are you going to cancel the line that has the iPhone? [EMPLOYEE] does not have a smart device so the line was transferred with his consumer plan.
—
Me to VZ Rep:
[VZ Rep],
[EMPLOYEE] doesn’t really care for his current device and so I’d like to have the number associated with the iPhone 5 that [EMPLOYEE] is currently is using to have that phone number. The plan will be applied to that iPhone 5 that he is already using.
—
VZ Rep to Me:
You need to cancel the number currently on the iPhone 5. Once it is canceled you can then request the device be activate on his line.
—
Me to VZ Rep:
[VZ Rep], I can do this on our website right? I’ll give it a shot later today. Thanks!
—
VZ Rep to Me:
The site will only allow you to suspend. Please send me the line that needs canceling.
—
Me to VZ Rep:
Okay, I’ll repeat myself once again. We’d like to cancel [OLD PHONE NUMBER]
and put [NEW PHONE NUMBER] in its place. Put the number on the iPhone. No new
device, use the device we have. The device that [EMPLOYEE] already has, his
iPhone 5. The device that we have already on our account, the one that
currently has [OLD PHONE NUMBER], should instead have the phone number
[NEW PHONE NUMBER]. This device already has a plan, the plan that has always
been on the device since we started our contract.
I don’t understand why I have to keep on requesting the same thing with
the same details over and over again.
—
VZ Rep to Verizon Government:
Please cancel [OLD PHONE NUMBER]. Once that is processed please take that
device and put it on mobile [NEW PHONE NUMBER]. The [NEW PHONE NUMBER] needs to be put on
the same plan that [OLD PHONE NUMBER] had – 74053 – AMERICAS CHOICE II 1000 SHARE
EMAIL & DATA+N&W+IN UNL $96.14 0408 with the 10.00 hot spot.
—
Verizon Government to VZ Rep and I:
Dear [CUSTOMER],
We have completed part of your request.
Reference Number: [REFERENCE NUMBER]
We have deactivated:
Mobile Number: [OLD PHONE NUMBER]
Effective Date: 02/09/2013 06:35:20
Contract End Date: 02/09/2013 06:35:20
Early Termination Fee:0.0
Second request to do an ESN device change to [NEW PHONE NUMBER] for the Iphone 5 [MEID], the SIM [SIM CODE] was already paired on mobile number [OLD PHONE NUMBER] and can not be used on more than one number. Please either advise a new SIM card that has not been used or we can ship you one for free, just provide a shipping address. ( NO PO BOX)
—
My response to Verizon, both Government and Rep:
Thanks, but since you tossed [OLD PHONE NUMBER] the device Iphone 5 [MEID], the SIM [SIM CODE] no longer has a number. Please set [NEW PHONE NUMBER] to this device.
Please do this, otherwise I’ll have to ask [VZ Rep] to do this again in a few days and you’ll do it anyways. Lets just cut to the chase and do it now. I’d rather not have to make this request a 15th time, literally, just to get one step closer. We’re so close. So unbearably, deliciously close!
I have faith in you all. That a task asked 15 times over two months can be done. We all know it can, so pretending that there are problems is just playing coy. Think of it this way, once we’re done I’ll stop being the worlds most screechiest wheel. I do not like being that loopy wheel on the shopping cart of life that just refuses to track with all the others.
If I can’t get to the end just with our consumer/carrier relationship then at least help me finish this. Think of it not in terms of ESN’s, plans, or SIM cards but rather in the merciful euthanization of this sprawling task from hell that shot out grubby tentacles and turned into one ugly time vampire. Don’t do it for me, do it to kill this wretched task. It must be killed and the only way to do that is to spritz it with the holy water of assigning Iphone 5 [MEID], the SIM [SIM CODE] to [NEW PHONE NUMBER].
Once we are done the angels in heaven will trumpet our glorious success.
LET US FINISH THIS. PLEASE!