I used to be able to play the Trumpet, but a protracted amount of orthodontia pretty much obliterated that pursuit. I found that I much prefer to consume art than try to produce it myself. I think I lost the faith, when it came to music when I stopped feeling the need to compete for “chair position” back in grade school. Much like other parts of my life where competition rears its ugly head I find myself questioning the inherent value of the activity and then considering the people that surround me. Usually the evaluation leads me to consider the people around me to be worthless sacks of protoplasm, then to question why I’m even doing something and if it’s really for me, and then I usually walk away from it. As time goes on I find myself more interested with insular matters. Recently at work several coworkers have asked me if I felt bad that someone else took sole credit for what a group that I was involved with accomplished. Frankly I’m not after approval or rewards. I’m just here to do what I do, if people want to make a big production of it, that’s up to them. If other people want to claim the spotlight, all the more power to them. This is the core reason why I have zero interest in sports. I’ve never seen the point of it.
I feel bad that you have had this "socially inept" experience. Unfortunately I have to say "welcome to a new society". This experience relates directly to our "me, me, me" society. It is a sad state of affairs when, as part of a team, one feels compelled to take all the glory but sadly that happens every day – in every part of American life. It's kind of like the snake – it starts smelling at the head. You will learn in time and as you age that the best kudos you receive are from those that love you and truly care about you. The rest? Just too self-absorbed. What a shame for their lives – not yours. I found the exact same experiences in 25 years of obtaining mortgages for the rich, the poor, the disadvantaged, the impossible. At almost every closing it was never about what I had done to bring all these people to the table, it was always about a stupid realtor who had done virtually nothing except show the property and write an offer. I learned, early on, my satisfaction came from changing somebody's life for the better. Trust me when I tell you there were many heart-wrenching stories about what I had done for people. And to add to that, my lender files, I know, were the best in the business – nobody ever showed appreciation – they just cleared the file to close. So…..my point is? Take your kudos from those that truly care and love you and find all of your satisfaction in that. Growing up I was always told that you could count your "true" friends on your fingers – no more than that. It's pretty solid advice.
Much love from those of us that see, applaud and care. We know how good you are.